Boxing Day Plea to Tesco

Dear Tesco

Please stop showing the advert if you run out of bread on Boxing Day, you can always pick up a loaf from your local store. Judging by the food mountain I saw others buy ... I think there is no need.

OBTW ... Just so you know ... we have enough bread to see us through to midweek ... for any emergencies, there is also flour, yeast and plenty of water.

So next year instead of checking your profit margins, why not show some festive spirit and give your colleagues an additional day off. If Waitrose and John Lewis close on Boxing Day ... why not you? You never know ... it might just catch on!

Kind Regards

Easter Monday

One creme egg down ... Two Thornton eggs, one rabbit and 11 creme eggs to go.

I could never be described as a chocoholic or a sweet tooth. I love savouries - crisps being the biggest weakness. Forget popcorn, crisps for the movies and you definately can't beat a packet of crisps (+ 4) with a good book.

Perfect relaxation ... especially on Easter Monday. The weather has been bitsy at best, why join the rest of the maddening crowd, when instead, you can chill, indulge, flick pages and have sole responsibility for the remote ... Sounds like heaven to me!

Ring Ring ... why not give me a call?

The phone rings, a momentary pause, that time of the day again. After two rings, she releases the mute button, puts on her best smiley face and says ...
"Good morning, Tweetfreedonia, you're speaking to blah,blah, how can I help you?" Nice,polite, welcoming. The reply makes Malcolm Tucker look like an extra from The Sound of Music. Welcome to my world ... the world of the call centre.

Along with a cast of 1000s, we sit in a badly designed 60s office. Too hot in summer, freezing in winter. We're part of the ever increasing faceless army that deal with customer complaints for a large high street organisation. We're the ones who are called all the names under the sun (and some new ones to boot) because YOU the customer feel obliged to shoot from the hip. You feel aggrieved that you were overcharged 1p on your purchase or Tweetfreedonia have too many charity collectors, or didn't prevent disabled drivers from parking in the parent & toddler bays (or vice versa).

So you dial that magic number, and full of your own self righteousness let rip. Mrs Shouty, Mr Sweary, Ms Obnoxious, not even pausing for breath. Brave behind that telephone and from the comfort of your own home, it's a wonder your neighbours' haven't applied for an ASBO. We work hard, we look for the best resolution to resolve your query. Sometimes that's all very well. Other times, well perhaps it's financially motivated. You've been done down, and the world owes you ... big time!

Well let's pause there, tough person. There's something you haven't quite grasped. The person at the end of your screaming rant is actually a human being as well. That person you've reduced to tears all for the sake of 1p could be your mother, father, brother, sister, grandson etc. Would you treat them in this way? First impressions last. I don't know you from Adam, but you believe during the contact we briefly have, that it's acceptable behaviour to reduce me to a crumbling wreck? Do you think that's fair?
I don't!

Next time you call, remember this. Call centres are set up to deal with customer issues. The people who are employed by them are not necessarily part of that same organisation. We don't get the same perks, bonuses, holidays, salary etc as the real employees of the organisation we represent. We're lower than that. We're outsourced workers. We're pretendy employees, over qualified and can't find work in our specialised area of expertese. We're on the private sector conveyor belt, the job we took out of desperation and paid a salary that doesn't even meet the national average. We work unsociable shifts and have to work beyond that if we receive a last minute phone call. We don't receive sick pay and are expected to drag our ill ridden bodies into that office.

So before you dial ... pause for thought, you may be aggrieved, but put on your nice happy smiley face ... and you might just be rewarded yourself

60 Seconds - A poem

Sun kissed the lovers heads
Like a whisper on the breeze
Locked in each others hearts
60 precious moments
Stolen from one hour

Slices of salted tomato
shared by each others lips
The burning sun
Our burning hearts
As slowly she sliced through
one apple of love

Sun shines upon us
Eyes sparkle in the light
Stolen moments
Stolen glances
Witnessed by the whispering trees

But all too soon
That one hour is gone
Back to reality
The lovers are bourne
Those precious moments shared together
Live in their entwined hearts forever

The Festive Madness

Well thats the end of that, the madness that was Christmas & New Year, the end of the blank eyed zombie stares as we rush from one shop to the next, joining cancelled Eurostar style queues with the rest of the blank eyed zombies,looking for the last bag of sprouts, that lonesome parsnip berating its self for not being picked and left reeling like an X Factor reject.

Will you miss the Christmas Eve sale slashing offering you 70% off last summer's bikini that you think Great Auntie Rosina might wear? When in all reality, all you really wandered in for was 2 litres of milk & a loaf of bread? Hmmm

Then we had respite from that chaos for a whole 40 hrs until Boxing Day at 10am, you are there, again, armed with a trolley to elbow jive with hirtling grannies who clear the shelves faster than a Dale Winton trolley dash, unless of course you are one of the die hards who queued up on Boxing Day morning at 3am to enter the Aladden laid Next Sale, starting at 5am. Or did you?

Perhaps you were one of the many people who balanced their Christmas Dinner on a tray on their lap, while they perused the online sales, one hand to eat, one hand to click onto shopping basket. The early bird who grabbed all the best bargains? Did you really grab anything? Think of what you missed, time to chill out, spend it with your family & loved ones, go for a walk in the snow? Watching the final adventures of the tenth Doctor (Had to mention David Tennant at least once!)

Christmas was once a time of celebration - now it has become the season of madness. The red mist of materialism that slowly strips away the Season of Nowell & offers instead brings in the Jingle Bells of the cash register.

November 11 Remembrance

This poem was written by Sgt. Joshua Helterbran and

reminds us why this anniversary is so important

The Final Inspection

The soldier stood and faced God,

Which must always come to pass.

He hoped his shoes were shining,

Just as brightly as his brass.

'Step forward now, you soldier,

How shall I deal with you?

Have you always turned the other cheek?

To My Church have you been true?'

The soldier squared his shoulders

and said,'No, Lord, I guess I ain't.

Because those of us who carry guns,

Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,

And at times my talk was tough.

And sometimes I've been violent,

Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny,

That wasn't mine to keep...

Though I worked a lot of overtime,

When the bills got just too steep.

And I never passed a cry for help,

Though at times I shook with fear.

And sometimes, God, forgive me,

I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place,

Among the people here.

They never wanted me around,

Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here,

Lord,It needn't be so grand.

I never expected or had too much,

But if you don't, I'll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne,

Where the saints had often trod.

As the soldier waited quietly,

For the judgment of his God.

'Step forward now, you soldier,

You've borne your burdens well..

Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,

You've done your time in Hell.'

A Day off Work

Monday morning - my first whole day of

freedom away from my desk and the constant

battle between the wonky airconditioning

and the searing white heat of background noise -

its great to have a day off ...

but what to do with it?

... therin lies the problem.
We approach days off with great anticipation,

great plans are made with the excitement of

toddlers who have no notion that pay day is

still in the far off distance

(although still tantalising close

to smell like a lingering autumn rose)
Ideas are spouted back and forth

like an epic tennis final, with no

end in sight, no firm plans are made

and then the great day arrives

to the confusion of all.
I knew I had the day off,

we both knew we each had a day off...

The world at large knew we had a day off

and was quaking in it's ecological boots

awaiting the monstrous fanfare

that was about to arrive.

And arrive it did and it is today,

just now this present precious moment

I am sharing with you is my day off

and yet... due to the serious quest

of forward planning, I feel exhausted.

I have therefore ripped up the

list of plans and have decided

to throw caution to the wind

and do something completely different

... I still have to decide what that is yet ...